On happiness and being fine
Sometimes I come across a post, usually from a young person (young-adult?), where they state their struggle with life, feeling like a failure, general being very down and unhappy.
I want to reach out of the screen and shake them, hug them, and tell themā¦ well tell them nothing.
When you are that down, you are not ready to even hope for better days, high days, days when you run around with an obnoxious smile over your face, telling people to smell the roses and shit - when you are in the pit, you only see the lack of light, and with no light, there is seeing, anything.
A hug and a warm silent witness presence is what most can barely accept at their most vulnerable state, so thereās that.
But, when they are out of the cone of shadow, I would tell them what I stubled upon my life with regards to happiness:
Happiness is not forgetting your downs as much as not having the time to be reminded of them
When the latent-colonial journalists visits the third world, underdeveloped world, or global south as it became know, and they see the smiles and energy of the locals, and says some cringe-worthy stuff like āthey donāt have much, but no one can take their happiness awayā, that absolute moron fails to notice the obvious: they donāt have the time to even think how royally fucked they are!
Some of the happiest times in my life were spent sharing a 1 bedroom flat with 7 other people, working minimum wage, pulling 12 hours shift and eating take away junk while falling asleep on public transport.
Objectively, one of the worst times of my life:
- overworked
- didnāt know anyone (new town)
- no prospects for my future
- no money and no path to make any
I didnāt feel at the bottom thought, I felt great, I was happy to turn off the alarm at 5AM and get going, I was happy to come back āhomeā and find random people my flatmates brought over and that will go on to not let me sleep for the rest of the night with their loud chats and laughs, I was happy because I only had time to appreciate what was good in the day, too tired to overthink all the things that are bad and need to improve.
So, to you fellow writer, your pain is real, you are not alone in it, we all dwelled a bit too much staring at the abyss sometimes, the good news is that there is a shortcut to feeling better: get busy.
Get busy doing the laundry, cooking a meal, cleaning the house, visiting friends, go to an event, walk in the park, read a book, listen to an album, just when you do something, do it with the whole of your attention, really be there.
Donāt let you mind wonder, if the most pressing things that come to mind are bad trips now, soon enough your mind will readjust to think of happy things.
You will start thinking of the last meal you cooked rather than the most depressing thought, or the book you just read, or that good looking person that passed you by at the park, or the smell of flowers from the stall down the cornerā¦ you got to trust me on this one, give it a month or money back guaranteed!
Get busy living or get busy dying - someone must have said that already, right?