Riff: The Cost of Safetyism
I largely agree with stevemagness (Steve) post on how we are making the new generation weaker and dumber (in some areas) by preventing their proper development, I’m just not so sure it is for the reasons Steve is citing.
For example, part of me thinks that yes we are living in safer times, but that might be precisely because we are shrinking the danger-opportunity by removing kids from a lot off activities and places: there are less child-abductions (are there though?) now then 100 years ago because there are less kids, and of those kids, even less are alone on the street - this is why it is probably safer now and not because child-abducters have magically disappeared.
We don’t let kids prepare their snacks, or dress themselves, or do whatever by themselves, not because of protective instincts (no one in their right mind considers a sandwich an hazard) but because it is faster and more convinient to do it for them - if you have kids you know exactly what I’m talking about.
I do believe news and social media is not a diet you should have for your brain, and you are better off just do without them, but they cannot be the root of all evil all the time, we got to look at the incentives more than the context.
The incentives for Safetysm are:
- Time saving
- Stress relief
- Self-gratification
I touched on the time saving already, for stress relief I think is obvious: having a kid at home watching cartoons is less stressful than a kid out in the neighbourhood doing God-knows what.
Self-gratification I think is the one taking people by surprise but it’s also obvious in hindsight: it feels good to spoil your kid, that’s why so many people do it!
It feels good to prevent any struggle, anything remotely uncomfortable, anything that will make their day harder, because we love then and we want them happy all the time, because that makes us happy all the time.
But like a diet full of ice cream and candies, it is a shortsighted strategy: their moment of happiness will bring long term pain and suffering, and that is a choice that previous generation couldn’t do our couldn’t do so easily because… they had too many kids to play that game!
Yes, how many kids you are raising recalibrate all of these points!
Time saving? Doing one sandwich might be faster, doing 4, at different times, with different ingredients, gets time consuming pretty fast, better to teach the kids how to do their own.
Stress relief? Having one kid on the couch watching cartoons is peaceful, having 4 at home doing anything is the closest you get to a street fight in your corner of town, better to teach the kids to be cautious and let them go out on their own.
Self-gratifying? Attending every move of one kid is (in a unhealthy way) rewarding, attending every whim of 4 kids is a straight road to a nervous breakdown by day 3, better to teach the kids to be independent and watch them grow proud of their abilities by the day.
The answer to Safetysm is not “be better”, that is almost never an answer to anything, but instead “(let there) be more (of you)”, the incentives will force you toward the right path.
Well, that’s my experience at least.